13 May 2015

Wednesday Whine: PCOS

This is an extremely personal post.
Possibly the most personal post that I will ever write on here.
But I have to tell the truth of my life at the present (other than the fact that I am a klutz that falls down the stairs).
But here it is.

I'm 33 and I'm getting my butt kicked by PCOS.

PCOS is a medical condition that affects different women in different ways and because it is a syndrome it has a wide variety of symptoms that ultimately arise due to the fact that women with this condition grow small cysts on the ovaries (although some women don't have these visible on scans but have the condition).

These cysts in return play havoc with the hormones levels and cause emotional and physical issues that differ from woman to woman.
For me, at the moment, the issues are facial hair and weight, with body confidence issues relating to this issue.
But for a long time the huge issue from my condition was fertility issues.
Beany was the product of a very long fertility journey, eight and a half years, that had the root cause of my PCOS.
But that is a subject for another day.

But as for the weight issues I can only give my own story.
I have struggled with my weight since my late teens and my depression only made it so much worse but following Edward's birth my depression was mostly gone luckily.

I won't reveal my actual weight but it is now stable but is a lot higher than I want it to be. Which I know people judge me for.
Then seeing the press these last few weeks I actually feel amazingly angry at the people that so happily judge women that are overweight or obese.

A few years ago I lost a lot of weight but with my PCOS it was a struggle. I exercised for upto four hours a day and ate little but it was slow going and even when I did lose weight it was a few pounds a week and a few times I wanted to give up. I got to my 'target weight' though and stayed there for a few months and then promptly got pregnant with Beany. 
The irony that I had to lose all that weight to get pregnant with the baby that doctors said was impossible without fertility treatment isn't lost on me but it was worth it as I  have the child I  so desperately wanted.

As for the weight. 
Would I do what I did last time?

No. I'd rather be judged and fat than put myself through a exercise and food routine that left me crabby and grumpy.
But I am going to cut out processed food (mostly) and all added sugars and see what happens. 
Will I lose weight? No idea, but I have to admit that over the last week on cutting them I am feeling less sluggish.
Let's hope it helps and tames my PCOS a little as sugar can make it worse as it affects insulin levels.
More on PCOS can be found here.


x-J-x

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